You thought these things died ages ago, didn't you?

My dear friend Nina recently posted this questionnaire that she compiled some years ago, and I'm in the mood to fill it out.

1. Physical description:

I used to think of myself as tall, but I feel rather average among my friends. I am decidedly thin and pale, though steadily filling out with the years. At this rate, all I need is another 130 years and I'll be obese.

2. Personality description:

I consider myself to be far more logical than emotional, which does get me into trouble from time to time. Then again, it only gets me into trouble with emotional people, so my logic tells me that's their problem. The extremity of my devotion to logical perfection has softened with humanity in recent years through the influence of the most formative friendships I could hope for.

3. In one sentence, what is the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is as God determines, for His glory.

4. What qualities do you have that would make you a good totalitarian dictator?

I am intelligent, but the nature of my intelligence tends to deceive people into thinking it's greater than it is. My word-smithing often combines with my logical emotionlessness to deceive people without any considerable effort. People who are not normally gullible tend to believe everything I say. Also, given the right mood (which strikes often), I don't mind offending people.

5. If your life was a novel/movie, what would the title and/or tagline be?

Ein Heldenleben: or, The Ironic Tool

6. Ideally, who would score/perform the soundtrack of your life, and why?

Richard Strauss (see above) would be great for the overture, preferably performed by the Berliner Philharmoniker. Some of the darker bits would be handled by Sigur Rós in their earlier years (very desperate and occasionally hopeful), but the majority of my life may be best set to Sondre Lerche (occasionally accompanied by Regina Spektor). Sondre has a light consistency about him that seems appropriate.

7. What character traits have you inherited from your parents?

My dad gave me great long-suffering and subtlety, and my mom gave me more of a people-orientation. Like Nina, I seem to be the child who is the most even mix of my parents. I think this has helped to make me one of the most satisfied and discontent people I've come across.

8. What is your earliest memory?

I remember having my diaper changed once, and I remember being rocked to sleep. I was 2 years old for both, and I couldn't tell you which was earlier.

9. What do you hope will be your last words?

“Well, that was fun."

10. What new thing did you learn today?

I learned how satisfying it can be to change windshield wipers in the rain, standing in the parking lot of the store where I bought them.

11. a) In ten years time, how much is it going to matter that you wasted an hour filling this out?

I was really hoping this wouldn't last an hour, and I think it's been about 35 minutes. I can live with that now, and I'll smile about it in ten years.